Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Anxiety

Early doc appt, annual pacemaker checkup. I dread them because eventually we'll have a clash between goals: they to extend my life, myself to manage my death. Last time they wanted to add a pill to the 3 I now take. I refused. Catch hell now?

Really pisses me off that I have no sense of the medical profession's interest in my values and desires. They view life as its own reward, unless I get a terminal disease.

Life itself is a terminal disease ha ha.

No mood for conflict. Hope it is a routine visit.

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